If you`ve ever felt losing your purpose as a mum then don’t lose heart because you are not alone.
Becoming a mother is one of the biggest milestones in a woman’s life. It’s amazing how our life changes as soon as we see those blue lines. We get so busy perfecting our image as a mum that we completely forget the person we used to be.
We often bury our dreams and hopes so that one day these sacrifices will be worth it and would be seen in the upbringing of our children.
As time goes on, with this type of mentality and routine, mothers can quickly become overwhelmed and burnt out. We lose our purpose not only as a mum but as an overall individual.
It’s vital for mums to know that they matter. You deserve to take a break and reflect a little bit on your purpose as a mum and individual.
This post will give you the tips to find yourself again as well as explain you in simple terms why we lose our purpose in the first place. So grab yourself a cup of tea and start reading!
10 reasons why we lose our purpose:
- Life’s Complexities and Uncertainties
- Many Talents and Interests: People frequently possess a variety of talents and interests, which makes it challenging to concentrate on one thing.
- Changing Circumstances: Because life is dynamic, things that appear meaningful at one point in time may not remain so as circumstances change.
- External and Societal Pressures
- Expectations: You may find that the expectations of your family, friends, and society collide with your personal preferences.
- Cultural Norms: Cultural norms and beliefs might impact the definition of a “worthy” aim, which may cause misunderstandings.
- Internal Barriers
- Self-Doubt: Seeking one’s actual purpose can be limited by a lack of confidence or a fear of failing.
- Overthinking: Over-analysing every option can cause analysis paralysis, making it hard to make decisions.
- Lack of Clarity
- Lack of Direction: When you don’t take time to explore their passions and interests you may easily feel lost.
- Undefined Goals: In the absence of clear goals, it’s hard to find a meaningful path.
- Influence of Media and Information Overload
- Comparison: Constantly seeing other people’s accomplishments on social media can make you feel inadequate and unsure about your own sense of direction.
- Overwhelm: The abundance of information can be overwhelming, making it difficult to determine what truly connects with you.
- Practical limitations
- Financial stress: The requirement to make money may lead people to choose stability instead of pursuing their passions.
- Time limitations: Commitments like taking care of family or working may restrict the time for self discovery.
- Fear of Judgment
- Criticism: Criticism can deter you from pursuing what truly matters due to the fear of being judged for your choices.
- Conforming: Wanting to belong can result in selecting safe yet unfulfilling routes.
Our purpose is closely connected to our identity, beliefs, and self-awareness. Finding this cause as a mum can be a deeply personal and evolving journey. Here are some steps to help you discover and embrace your purpose:
- Self-Reflection
- Access your values: Think about the values that hold the most significance to you. Are they nurturing your child’s creativity, ensuring their academic success, promoting their emotional health, or something else?
- Identify Your Strengths: Reflect on your skills and strengths. Are you great at listening, entertaining, organizing, teaching, or creating a warm home environment?
- Set Goals
- Short term goals: set goals that are easy to achieve but are equally important. Every time you accomplish one of these goals, it will be easier to achieve a slightly bigger one.
- Long Term Goals: access your abilities as they are now and set yourself realistic and achievable goals for the future.
- Engage with your children
- Spend quality time: organise family activities that you all enjoy and that strengthen your bond.
- Listen to their needs: Pay attention to what your children need from you which can help you guide to your purpose.
- Seek Support and Community
- Join mum groups: Connecting with other mums will give you that purpose and happiness as well as feeling more optimistic about motherhood in general.
- Self Care
- Prioritize Self-Care: Make sure to prioritize your own physical and mental well-being in order to be better prepared to take care of your children.
- Find Balance: strive to find a balance between your individual hobbies and interests and the responsibilities as a parent. Very often even with extensive introspection, it is hard to find your real passions. Sometimes, clarity arises when you accept new challenges and meet new people.
- Adapt and Be Flexible
- Be Open to Change: Your purpose as a mum is constantly changing as your children grow. Make sure to adapt and be flexible to their changing needs.
- Learn Continuously: Parenting is a learning process. Stay open to new information and approaches.
- Take time to reflect
- Journal Your Experiences: Writing about your daily experiences can provide insights into what is most fulfilling and meaningful to you.
- Review and Adjust Goals: from time to time review your goals and adjust them as necessary based on your reflections and changing circumstances.
- Celebrate Achievements
- Acknowledge Successes: Celebrate both big and small victories in your parenting journey. No matter how small a victory is, celebration is a must.
- Reward Yourself: Treat yourself for the hard work and dedication you put into being a mum.
Finding your purpose as a mum is a continuous journey that requires introspection, flexibility, and willingness to grow with your children. Every phase of motherhood can bring new challenges and opportunities for fulfillment, and understanding that this is an ever-changing experience can guide you towards finding your purpose.
Mistakes, failure, and uncertainty are all part of life so, gather your courage and keep moving forward. If you’re disappointed in not reaching your full potential, let that feeling drive you to set higher goals and consider new opportunities. Success is not a destination but an ongoing journey of gaining knowledge, adapting and evolving.
I will end with a beautiful quote that I love:
“Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that.” —Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions”